Last night I had what was probably the coolest and most intense secular experience I've ever had.

I saw Metallica LIVE at Giants Stadium! (Ever see what Homer Simpson does when he spots a brownie in the distance? That's what I'm doing right now.)

They were INCREDIBLE. It was a blistering two hour set that never flagged in its intensity. The band was in top form. Their set list was wisely chosen, and they played each song flawlessly. Thousands of fans pumped their fists, nodded their heads, and sang along with each song. When the band left the stage, as if they were done for evening, deafening shouts of "we want more" echoed through the arena. Metallica, true to form, reappeared with a burst of pyrotechnics and played encore after encore.

This feigned exit happened twice. The evening finally ended with an awesome rendition of "Enter Sandman." The four bandmates then spoke about how great it felt to be back in the New York area (as Lars Ulrich, the drummer, said: "Being back in f***ing New York kicks my f***ing a**!!), flung some guitar picks into the crowd, and took their final bow.

The downside to any otherwise indescribable evening was that I had to sit through six hours of crappy music. Though the concert started at 1pm I got there at 3pm, and Metallica didn't take the stage till 9pm. It had to sit through Mudvayne, the Deftones, Linkin Park, and Limp Bizkit.

Yes, that's how those names are supposed to be spelt.

I did try as hard as I could to listen with an impartial ear and see if there was any redeeming value to their music. Let me assure you that there is none at all.

I'll stick to talking about the two biggest of these lame-wad acts, Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit.

Linkin Park's music is, quite simply, a glorification of weakness. Go ahead and read their lyrics; it's like an upset 13-year-old wrote them. Here's a sample from their biggest hits:

"Don't turn your back on me. I won't be ignored"

"Shut up when I'm talking to you."

"You love the way, I look at you
While taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through
You take away if I give in
My life, my pride, is broken"

I don't mind vulnerability in art necessarily. I think it's sad when that's an artist's overriding theme. Here's how I see it: when we watch movies, no one cheers for the sniffling whiner in the corner who scratches at the world and feels nothing but pity for himself, we like the hero instead; so why cheer music written by that whiner?

I prefer a band like Metallica, who sings an awesome song (which they performed last night) called "Seek and Destroy" (read the lyrics here). Metallica was fueled by a similar sort of frustration. Rather than beg in their songs to not be ignored, they sang a call to arms (read "The Four Horsemen").

Limp Bizkit had the worst set of the evening. Not only did they suck big time, they actually undermined really good music. They did a version of Metallica's "Sanitarium" and butchered it. It's an interesting song about a man in a mental institution and how the cure he's subject to is the problem in the first place (I think of the song along the lines of "The Unforgiven" which picks up on the theme of the socialization and subjugation of man; unfortunately, the didn't perform that one).

First, Limp Bizkit didn't play the guitar solo, a frenzied and fast-paced bit of music that exemplifies the tension in "Sanitarium" (probably because they're not good enough to even try). Second, they performed it in the their normal rap-rock style, effectively killing any subtlety; lead singer Fred Durst would alternate between a monotonous rhyming and a ridiculous shouting. Finally, when they added a bit of their own style to it, they proved how shallow their view of the song was. In the middle of the song Durst began to shout" leave me alone" over and over, a very simplistic and juvenile take on the song.

They also made a mockery of "Cemetary Gates," a wonderful song by Pantera. They used the introductory guitar riff to beging a really irritating song where Durst sang about how no one can know his pain. Give me a break. What annoying solipsistic drivel.

I should probably write more in depth about some really good Metallica songs in the future. Right now I'm way too tired after last night to do much of anything. I hope this entry didn't betray that fact.